Kshitij Choudhary

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I Think I’ll Do Some Magic | Turning 21

This blogpost was supposed to be posted on my birthday, 24th June. I was travelling in a no-network zone, so I failed to do so. Post my journey a series of engaging incidents kept me busy and yet again I failed to post it until now. A  succession of occurrences have happened so far. First let me take you through what I’ve experienced on the day; i.e my birthday.

24th June, 2018

Why is everything out of place? So much of turbulence and chaos running through the veins.

Turning 21 has not been an easy task. A lot of people have made it to 21 and beyond. A lot many, couldn’t. I’m grateful to everyone who helped me being who I am and pushed me hard enough to survive to witness the terrific twenty-one.

Today went really bizarre and by that I mean in a mental way bizarre. My dearest friend, my brother, had an operation. A real painful one. My nani called me to wish me Happy Birthday and she was waiting for this day since last month. She repeatedly asked my aunt, “Is today 24th June? Is today Bobo’s birthday? Call him, I want to wish him,” for thirty days long. The fact that my lovely Nani had to wait a month just to find an occasion to dial my number and have a reason, just to talk to me, was really disturbing to me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to reciprocate the love she has given me.  What am I becoming? What have I become? Am I not a good grand-child?

Contrary to that I had a different encounter with my father today. Really sweet and pleasing, but, different. We hugged today. I held him in my arms like I used to in my childhood and gave him couple of sweet kisses on cheeks like I have a photo of ours when I was six. I almost forgot how it felt to hug him and be around his warmth. That moment instantly had me emotional and brought me down to tears.

Months passed and now it is September. I’d say wake me up when September ends but hell no! This ugly month didn’t let me sleep, didn’t allow me to have peace. Just when I thought I’m almost there to balance my life, a tragic incident happened in my family. My beloved Nani passed away.

When the news of her sad demise broke, it broke me into pieces. It shattered me so deeply that I stopped thinking rationally and went over-flowing with emotions. And I should have. She was a great deal to me. No one in my life has ever given me the amount of love than her. No one can or ever will be able to stand with me like she had. She was a constant source of energy to me, a beam of positivity, a ray of happiness and reason to progress and do better in every step in life.

My Nani had her entire world limited to her children and more than the children, her each breath was devoted to her grand-children; the six of us. She has always kept me motivated at every turn of life and was with me at every ladder that I’ve taken so far. She was the first person to hold me in arms when I was born. For twenty-one years of my life, I had the opportunity to be with the one who saw me and discovered me for the first time. She was the first human I ever saw, I ever touched, I ever felt. The bond that was created was far stronger and holier than the umbilical-bond.

I have thousands of memories with her and of her; and they can’t be ever forgotten. It is often said that a mother’s love is the purest and no other love can supersede that. Well guess what? This ‘fact’ is not an invariable truth. A grand mother’s love can surpass all the highest parameters ever set by the mothers of the world. My nani has been a profound example of this. A person, who’s love is unfathomable. John Green has truly said, “some infinities are bigger than other infinities.” 

It’s just so impossible to imagine a world without the greatest beauty and most powerful source of happiness to me.

She’s now resting in my heart and in my memories forever. I won’t ever let her suffer from the Oblivion’s curse. Her physical actuality might have ended but her high-spirited energy and unquestionable love can never seize to exist.

She has believed in me more than I have believed in myself and I’m not going to let her down.
Some people’s parts just ain’t that long…
I’m still going strong.

I’m twenty-one now. I think I’ll do some magic.

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1 Comment

  1. This is amazing !!! 🌸

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